1. Innocence

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I had not thought about how to be loved.
I assumed it must be the way others loved me.

 

I believed my relationship with my father was perfect

because he did not try to change me.

 

My parents divorced as soon as I was born

but nothing bad happened to me.

 

My mother never missed a chance to tell me

how wonderful a person my father was.

 

I had two wonderful parents.

 

Adults felt sorry for me about my parents’ divorce,

I defended my parents with defiance.

I told them that I benefited from having two homes,

four parents.

I received more presents, more lì xì at Tết.

I was to be envied.

 

I don’t envy anyone.

 

Truth is, I wanted a brother

someone for protection, someone who stayed.

 

I never stopped looking for a brother.

I liked being with boys,

I felt safe with their attention and affection.