1. The Start of Love

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What can you ask from a child
who is still waiting to be loved
for over sixty years of his life.

 

He is frightened of the woman who loved him most.
The one who kept him alive,

who let him exist.

 

She remains his source of life.
The dominant figure.
The archetype of women in his mind.

 

That’s how love came to mean for him
from the moment he knew love existed.

Its power decides if he is alive or dead.
 

In that love, he is secured and trapped.
Fed. But no escape.

 

He was never taught to step into peace.

He was made to believe love was not certain,

that danger waits on the doorstep.

 

To venture is to fight, so he fought.
 

He imagined ghosts to defend against.

Fighting gave him the power
the boy never had at home.

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He longed for affection but didn’t know its shape.

Tenderness hides a power that renders him helpless.

 

He invites it to come
and does not let it stay.

 

He fears its mortal power over him,

the power to let him live or die.​​